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Do we love to take a quiz or what? I have marked up many a magazine finding out if I'm a Queen of Clutter, Diva of Design, Princess of Passion, Whale of a Wife, etc. etc.
Want to find out where you are on your journey to fearless living? You can take this quiz without searching for a pen. Follow the link (and answer truthfully):
I took the quiz. Here's a peek at my results:
Quiz Results
You answered YES to 7 of the questions:
Self-mastery is what you seek and it is present in your powerful stand in most areas of your life. Congratulations on your willing heart and open mind. They serve you well. It is now time to step up to the next level of personal refinement. . .
If you want to share, copy and paste the first paragraph of your results in the comments section. Or keep your results to yourself. Either way, get inspired to live your most fearless life.
During graduate school, I worked part-time at the Council on Aging in Athens, GA as an ombudsman. It didn't pay well, but I liked the job, visiting nursing homes and personal care homes protecting patients' rights, educating the employees, and investigating complaints made to the State.
A woman named Sally held the full-time ombudsman position. She was considerably older than me, as I was in my mid-twenties and she in her late fifties. And a quirky bird she was, too. She drank hot tea at exactly 10a.m. every day. She ate egg salad for lunch, ritualistically. She began almost every sentence with, "Wellllllll." In essence, Sally was the most predictable, unchanging person I had ever met. She wasn't just set in her ways, she'd become stuck in them with super glue. Bending or budging were both out of the question.
On the one hand, I suppose, Sally knew what she liked and she saw no reason to add complication to a life that clicked like clockwork. Deviating from the minute-by-minute, behavior-by-behavior plan would require extra energy and effort.
BUT, on the other hand, Sally was afraid to drive in Atlanta, take an unfamiliar route, give anyone anything other than her well-rehearsed standard opinion, eat fish, drink milk, answer the phone if she wasn't expecting a call or go to bed after 10p.m. She was always sure she'd said the right thing. She was positive she wouldn't get lost. And for certain no prank callers or telemarketers would catch her off guard.
Her fear trapped her in a comfortable life of monotony.
It was a good lesson for me at a young impressionable age, having barely begun feeling like an adult. I was young enough and silly enough to make a personal vow that I would never forget or forgo the thrill of experiencing something new; of doing something for the very first time. Not like a relationship-jumper, always leaving each romance in search of another, or a serial job-hopper, flitting from one place of employment to another; it's decidedly not the same thing. Relationship jumping and job hopping are signs of insecurity and dissatisfaction. Those are people searching for something they're likely never going to find.
When I say "experience something new," I mean stepping outside of one's comfort zone:
- Taking on a challenge, such as writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.
- Starting a project, like building a picnic table for the back porch.
- Taking up a new sport, perhaps kayaking.
- Doing something that scares you, maybe riding a roller coaster.
Every day, do one thing new. If you decide you'll never do that thing again, at least you've gained the pulse-quickening sensation of getting fresh. Plus, you have an experience to add to your repertoire, another story to tell, a complexity added to your person, a broader scope of conversation topics. You'll be a more interesting and interested person.
The only way to lose is if you say "No" to the new.
What will you do new today?
Southern mamas wield guilt like a rattler in a pentecostal tent meeting. Below the Mason-Dixon, guiltiness is next to Godliness. Not overt guiltiness, like in a crime, mind you, but the kind of guilt that crawls silently up your spine and tickles at the nape of your neck. Though we swat at it and shimmy and flick, we can never brush away the sensation of it being there. Naturally, we start to avoid situations that make us notice it.
We southern girls cohabitate with our guilt in the same way we live with our silver and our pearls and daily gossip juicier than anything TMZ can dish. Why, I feel guilty for even saying the G-word. And you probably feel so guilty for reading about it and agreeing (you feel like your mama already knows you did it) that you're gonna talk about me just to make yourself feel better.
Never fear. I declare TODAY a 100% GUILT FREE DAY. Let's celebrate! Today it's okay:
1. To hide the last four chocolate chip cookies from your family and eat them for lunch tomorrow. 2. To ask the sales clerk for a 20% discount on that antique picture frame that you know you're going to buy whether she gives you the discount or not. 3. To kindly decline the handful of birthday party invitations your children brought home from school because you don't want to spend another Saturday schlepping kids around town. The party police won't convict for not being "busy" enough. 4. To say a resounding NO to the very next thing someone asks you to do. 5. To iron only the front panels and collar of your blouse because you're going to wear a jacket over it. 6. To order a pizza and watch a movie with your family on a school night. 7. To skip the DAR meeting even though you responded that you would be there. 8. To throw out that rag of a t-shirt your husband keeps wearing to be "comfortable" on Sunday afternoons. 9. To tell your son his tennis shoes smell like cat spray. 10. To paint a room orange.
How do you want to celebrate your 100% Guilt Free Day? What would you add to this list? Today it's okay to . . .
In honor of the month of Halloween, I've developed a list of 13 things every fearless southern girl should know about herself. Don't worry, though, this is a lucky list, one that will free you from ghouls and gobblins of worry and despair.
Every Fearless Southern Girl Should Know . . .
- A chili recipe that warms the heart and the tongue. Making comfort foods for the ones we love is how we show we care. Being able to whip up comfort foods quickly in a pinch is how we love ourselves.
- A go-to Halloween costume. It's great to get creative, but this year Halloween arrives on a Monday. Be like a Boy Scout and be prepared.
- A charity of her choosing. Give generously to a cause or two that reflects your priorities and passions, instead of handing out dimes to every charity that solicits you.
- When to end . . . a project, an adventure, a chore. My personal rule of thumb to stop when my interest/enthusiasm/excitement peaks, before I'm on the downhill slide to exhaustion or misery. What's your rule of thumb?
- What's really worth a splurge. Do you feel like impulse buying is taking over your shopping trips? Decide right now what is worth a splurge - a fabulous pair of shoes, a spontaneous adventure, a gourmet meal - and then you'll also know what isn't.
- The three things she can't live without in her kitchen, in her closet and in her man.
- How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
- The words to Seven Bridges Road.
- The phone number of a woman who will encourage her, inspire her and keep her moving forward. We all need mentors.
- The phone number of a woman who will indulge her, sip wine with her, complain with her and offer a shoulder and a tissue when tears get involved. We all need a best friend.
- A local grocer that carries Palmetto jalapeno pimiento spread. Don't go to a party without it (but put it in your own pretty dish, of course).
- Her heritage. Who her people are. Where she came from. Her roots.
- How to exclaim, "Why, I look afright," at the moment in which it will make the most impact.
Know these 13 things about YOU and you will never question yourself.
A just-for-fun Zoomerang survey on living fearlessly.
I look forward to reading your responses.
This is quoted directly from the CNN site. The title links back to CNN's original post. These are not my words. I am re-posting this here because Brig. Gen. Marcia Anderson knows what it means to live fearlessly:
Top ranking black female officer on 'living fearlessly'by Brig. Gen. Marcia Anderson, Special to CNNAugust 17, 2011 1:00 p.m. EDT
View video on YouTube: http://youtu.be/3I1oEdsN5OI
CNN Red Chair: Brig. Gen. Marcia AndersonSTORY HIGHLIGHTS
Brig. Gen. Marcia Anderson is the highest-ranking African-American female in the Army Reserve
Anderson says going into the military was not part of her life plan
Her father also served in the Army in the 1950s
Anderson believes her success is about 'realizing your dreams'
Editor's Note: Brig. Gen. Marcia Anderson is the highest-ranking African-American female officer in the Army Reserve. The CNN Red Chair Interview weekly franchise strives to look at people's past to see what made them who they are today. We also want to know their biggest pivotal and "aha" moments in their lives.
(CNN) -- My decision to join the Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC) in college was not part of my life plan. I simply needed some science credits, and military science met the "science" requirement for liberal arts majors. It also looked a lot like gym class, which I was quite confident I could do without too much trouble. I am very glad that I was wrong about the whole thing!
ROTC is about presenting you with challenges and testing you -- physically, mentally and emotionally. I jumped out of perfectly good airplanes, rappelled, solved problems and met some amazing people the 32 years I have served my country. I would not trade one minute of it!
Yes, along the way, I encountered people who made snap judgments about me because I was shorter than them, a woman or an African-American. They decided I did not measure up, but I chose to ignore them and believe in myself. My family is full of people who are intelligent, resourceful, strong and stubborn -- traits I inherited and I am certain are the reason I have been able to succeed in life and to overcome people who put obstacles in my path.
One of the most affirming moments in my life was the day I was promoted to brigadier general. The look of pride in my father's eyes is something I will never forget. If my mother had been alive, I know she would have had the same look.
My father served in the Army Air Corps in the 1950s when he was denied the opportunities I have enjoyed. Men and women like him -- my mother, aunts, uncles, grandparents and great-grandparents -- suffered disappointments and indignities so that I could have choices and opportunities.
So, this is NOT about me. It is about realizing their dreams. It is about opening doors for others. It is about living fearlessly every day.
This is the first post in a long while. I've been out living fearlessly - that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
I've also been lining up Blog Tour stops for Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run. (You can find out more details about that here.) And while out on the tour trail, I've met some interesting people, one of whom reminded me of an important part of living fearlessly: Taking a stand and refusing to waver.
Now, I will say this, we southern girls always reserve the right to change our minds. That's so no one ever really knows what's going on up in our pretty little heads. But we are by no means limber reeds. We will not budge on our core beliefs.
Jessica at This Blessed Life is a prime example. I sent her the following request:
Dear Jessica,
I'm a southern writer (native Georgian) taking my recently released book, Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, on blog tour. It's a book of humorous, true stories about surviving (and even prevailing over) unavoidable embarrassing moments written with a twang and drawl. I am currently scheduling tour stops for October and November. Will you host a visit for me at This Blessed Life? Of course I supply content in the format of your choosing. May I send you more information about the Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour? (You can read more here: http://lucybgoosey.blogspot.com/p/tuck-your-skirt-blog-tour-2011.html)
Jessica promptly and politely responded, thus:
Hi Lucy,
Unfortunately, I don't think your book would be a good fit for me to review. Don't take it personally, but the word "panties" is one of my least-favorite words (I don't even like to say it out loud!), and it's something I've been very vocal about (in a joking manner but also serious). As crazy as it sounds, I just can't in good conscience review a book with that word in it since so many people close to me know I can't stand that word! It just wouldn't make sense for me. However, I wish you all the best!
Sincerely,
Jessica
This is a woman after my own heart. This is someone we can respect and emulate. She isn't fearful of turning into a brick wall when her very ideals are threatened. But she maintains impeccable manners. I replied to her:
Dear Jessica,
Thanks for responding. Yours is the most interesting reply I have received. And I totally understand. If a girl takes a stand against something, she has to stick by it. I, for example, detest the word "pee" and any use of it. It sounds vulgar to me. So, nothing personal taken.
I do not know how Jessica feels about the word "pee," as I have not heard back from her. But I have made up my mind that if not for our differences on "panties" she and I could be very good friends living the fearless life together.
What's the one thing you take a stand on?
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