After dinner, my husband turned to our 10 year-old daughter, who sat at his left elbow, and said, "Clear your plate and clear mine."
The child replied, "Yes, sir," and lifted her plate from the place-mat. She paused. Her brow furrowed and her nose crinkled. She looked at her father and asked, "Clear your plate, clear your mind? What?"
"Ooooh, I like that," I cooed.
"Clear your plate, clear mine," clarified my husband.
"Clear plate, clear mind," I repeated. "There's something to that. It's so true."
My beloved's brow furrowed. "We're talking about taking dishes off of the table," he firmly redirected.
Sweetly, our daughter, unscathed by the philosophical rumblings beneath the after dinner clean-up, said, "I'll yours next, Mama."
"Thank you," I said to her. Then to my soul mate, "I know exactly what we're talking about here."
It's time to get ready for 2012. Out with the old and in with the new. What's on your plate, or your entire table, that's holding you back from facing the new year with anticipation?
Clear it so you can start 2012 ready to accept its possibilities.
The Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour for the advancement of Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run (which makes a very nice Christmas gift for all of the ladies on your list) was a wild success. It was thrilling and exhausting and exciting and now it's finished. Whew! I made it.
I could not have done it without the help of so many fabulous bloggers. Thank You! Please take a moment to visit some of them. Introduce yourself. Explore their sites. Make a few new friends. They'll make you laugh. They'll inspire you. They'll educate you. And many of them offer wonderful opportunities to win, win, win.
Coming in January to Southern Girls Living Fearlessly:
Fearless Fridays
Every Friday will feature a new product that a southern girl, especially a fearless southern girl, should try. You'll find out why the product is the perfect thing for southern girls to get, plus read reviews, enter to win giveaways, and get access to special coupon codes.
The Southern Girls Living Fearlessly FaceBook Page will host Fearless Fridays auctions of select products and services, too. Click on the link to Like Southern Girls Living Fearlessly on FaceBook so you won't miss out.
Do you have a product or service perfect for the southern girl, or, better yet, the fearless southern girl? Would you like to have it featured on an upcoming Fearless Friday? Email me for details.
We all have a grocery list for our lives; things we want to do, places we want to go, relationships we want to have, goals we desire to accomplish. Every day, we're filling our metaphorical shopping buggies from life's metaphorical shelves, tossing into our carts those things on our list while by-passing products we deemed too pricey, not good for us, or need for next time but not now.
My mother and my aunt, on a shopping jaunt for my widowed uncle, learned that sometimes, if you're open to it, the universe gives you more than you planned on your list:
The moral of the story is that sometimes we get very focused on what we think we need for ourselves, crossing off the items on our list:
graduate from college
get married
have a baby
have another baby
land the dream job
run a marathon
write a book
We fail to note all the rest that life has in store for us. We can have our buggy and another one, too, you know.
We all have a grocery list for our lives; things we want to do, places we want to go, relationships we want to have, goals we want to accomplish. Every day, we're filling our metaphorical shopping buggies from life's metaphorical shelves, tossing into our carts those things on our list while by-passing products we deem too pricey, unhealthy, or need next time but not now.
My mother and my aunt, on a shopping jaunt for my widowed uncle, learned that sometimes, if you're open to it, the universe gives you more than you planned on your list:
The moral of the story is that sometimes we get so focused on what we think we need for ourselves, crossing off the items on our list
graduate from college
get married
have a baby
have another baby
land the dream job
run a marathon
write a book
that we fail to note all the rest that life has in store for us. We can have our buggy and another one, too, you know.
I had no sooner picked up that magazine, flipped open to the article and thought to myself, This is my best work ever. And this fabulous layout they did makes it all the better, than a neighbor from down the street popped in to say hi and that he'd seen the article. He took the opening to point out that of all the three thousand words of it what he noticed was that I misspelled the same word, twice.
Actually, it was, as he informed me, a confusion of homophones. I wrote the word reigns when I really meant reins. I missed it in my proofreading. My copy editor missed it in her proofreading. The magazine editor missed it in her proofreading. And now my swollen pride had been drained by a honed scalpel.
Once again, insecurity bubbled and roiled beneath the surface. I took it as proof that I am a fraud. All night I worried that by morning everyone would know that I am not a real writer, that I don't know what I'm doing. The scrutiny frustrated me. I thought, I should just give up this career. No real writer would make a glaring mistake like that.
But real writers do make mistakes. Eat, Pray, Love has an error or two in it. The House on First Street is riddled with them. Elizabeth Gilbert and Julia Reed, respectively, are still real writers, however, and their stories are no less engaging.
I suppose that's what it means to be fearless. Fearless has never meant "without flaws." Fearless means putting myself all out there (I was fearless when I wrote that magazine article. All of my skills with creative non-fiction were laid on the line. I put my heart into it.) and accepting the increased risk of error. The other 2998 words of the article are not ruined because of two. My story is no less engaging.
Does that question make you uncomfortable? Probably. It's awfully direct and it demands a clear Yes or No. There's no grey area or room for an alternate answer.
And as southern girls, we all know that if we say YES, then the devil has led us straight into the vanity trap. Our mamas have taught us the dual lesson of always looking our best (Lord help us if we leave the house with our hair wet) while never prizing personal appearance over our virtues. Pride, for heaven's sake, is a sin.
If we say NO, for goodness gracious, then we disappoint our mamas, too. We are lovely in their eyes and it breaks their hearts if we discount our gifts of good figure and calm complexion. Our mamas want us to believe in ourselves and appreciate ourselves.
Beauty is a double edged sword.
Did you know that, according to Dove Research: The Real Truth About Beauty Revisited, that only 4% of women consider themselves beautiful. To me that's a staggering statistic. One that reveals the sad state of our understanding of beauty.
What is "beautiful" to you? Is it a flawless face on a glossy magazine cover? Is it a thread-thin model on a fashion runway? Is it Sissy-Dell Mathias's perfect hair that never flops no matter the weather? If so, that's the devil getting after you again, because he knows most of us don't look anything like that. Our perceived deficiencies breed envy and down the devil's row we go again.
Are you beautiful? If you dare to define beauty differently, then you'll have a much easier time answering that question.
To me, beauty is self-confidence. Beauty is smiling through adversity. Beauty is finding fulfillment in the routine of daily life. Beauty encourages friends and helps strangers. Beauty takes care of herself. Beauty is kindness, compassion and combed hair. It's lipstick and lending a hand. Beauty appreciates her assets and knows that God made no mistake in creating her. A beautiful woman manages to be the whole package, always becoming the best "self" that she can.
Are you beautiful?
Today's Assignment: In your Book of Lists, define beauty. Write down what it is to you. Are you beautiful? If you still answer No, then list what you can do to get there.
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